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| Technology can only dictate the nature of friendship if we allow it to do so. Photo credit: © Svetlana Tikhonova | Dreamstime.com |
While I, too, lament the decline of classical friendship, Deresiewicz’s attempt to blame Facebook is unwarranted, hyperbolic, and symptomatic of a society bound and determined to blame something – anything – outside itself for its failings. Yes, we as a society have distorted and, thereby, devalued, the concept of friendship. Yes, we have created for ourselves an illusion of plentiful adoration and near-universal acceptance. But, we have done these things. Facebook and other social media outlets are merely tools, ways of facilitating humankind’s historically present, but increasingly pronounced desires to be loved, popular, and part of something larger than self. Facebook is not the cause of relationship deterioration and to declare it so is merely to find another way of avoiding responsibility for personal choices.
As with any tool, Facebook can be dangerous if used unwisely.
Facebook gives users the option of setting levels of friendship and of
controlling which messages go to which groups, thus virtually simulating small
group settings and providing the ability to control what one shares with whom
and how one does so. Yet many users are too lazy to bother with differential
settings. Facebook does not compel one to accept any friendship request. Many
users are simply too indifferent, too meek, or too desirous of “popularity” to
turn down such requests. Facebook does not prevent one from having coffee with
a dear friend or picking up the phone. Many users just use it as an excuse to
avoid the effort of true interpersonal contact. Fault lies not with the tool,
but rather with the individual using the tool.
Facebook has not destroyed friendship or intimacy. It has
merely provided people the ability to do so themselves. And society has grasped
the opportunity with frightening eagerness.
Maggie Worth
The popularity of social mediums has altered the normative values and personal connections of historical friendships. These values and connections are now distorted within our modern-day relationships. The practices of classical friendships has ceased since the evolving of social networks. Dereseiwicz’s argument does not attempt to avoid or dismiss the responsibilities of social network users; but, instead, validate Facebook as the principal factor in the demise of virtuous friendships.
The ideology behind Dereseiwicz’s argument identifies fundamental elements of social circles that have been lost by the emergence of social mediums, primarily Facebook. As Dereseiwicz’s states, “the most disturbing thing about Facebook is the extent to which people are willing — are eager — to conduct their private lives in public”. Agreeably so, that lost sense of privacy eliminates a chief component in the quality of friendships. In today’s society, it is easier for one to skip the formalities and simply post an impersonal greeting on another person’s Facebook wall. It is easier for one to become aware of another’s well-being by simply reading an updated Facebook status rather than making a phone call. Yes, one can arguably say that Facebook does not prevent us from grabbing coffee with a friend or dialing a number. However, Facebook inhibits us from practicing those conventions of a classical friendship by granting us with a medium that has allowed us to become content with insufficiently communicating with those we classify as friends.
Although one may argue that Facebook has not destroyed friendships, it has created distortion in the communication between individuals. It is one tool that has shaped the means of our social interactions and devalued our quality of friendships.
Social Connections Causing A Disconnect
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Photograph by: Yuri Kadobnov , AFP/Getty Images
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The popularity of social mediums has altered the normative values and personal connections of historical friendships. These values and connections are now distorted within our modern-day relationships. The practices of classical friendships has ceased since the evolving of social networks. Dereseiwicz’s argument does not attempt to avoid or dismiss the responsibilities of social network users; but, instead, validate Facebook as the principal factor in the demise of virtuous friendships.
The ideology behind Dereseiwicz’s argument identifies fundamental elements of social circles that have been lost by the emergence of social mediums, primarily Facebook. As Dereseiwicz’s states, “the most disturbing thing about Facebook is the extent to which people are willing — are eager — to conduct their private lives in public”. Agreeably so, that lost sense of privacy eliminates a chief component in the quality of friendships. In today’s society, it is easier for one to skip the formalities and simply post an impersonal greeting on another person’s Facebook wall. It is easier for one to become aware of another’s well-being by simply reading an updated Facebook status rather than making a phone call. Yes, one can arguably say that Facebook does not prevent us from grabbing coffee with a friend or dialing a number. However, Facebook inhibits us from practicing those conventions of a classical friendship by granting us with a medium that has allowed us to become content with insufficiently communicating with those we classify as friends.
Although one may argue that Facebook has not destroyed friendships, it has created distortion in the communication between individuals. It is one tool that has shaped the means of our social interactions and devalued our quality of friendships.
Ashley Durant
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